Religion and Theology

In his book, Reaching out The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life, Nouwen (1997) divides up the believers path into three stages (1) reaching out to ones self (2) reaching out to the human community and (3) reaching out to God.  In the first stage, the Christian is utterly lonely before he or she finds solitude.  At this level it is easy to hear the voice of God within ones heart.  From this point, the believer can start reaching out to fellow human beings, as his or her heart has found calm in the place of agitation that loneliness had accompanied.
   
According to Nouwen, as the believer reaches out to the community, he or she must move from hostility to hospitality.  To be hostile is to close ones heart to others.  To be hospitable, on the other hand, is to show genuine care for fellow human beings.  It is to love ones neighbor after the Christian has learned to love him- or herself.
   
Finally, the believer is ready to reach out to God.  In this stage, a Christian moves from the level of illusion to prayer.  In illusion, the self imagines that he or she does not need God.  In prayer, on the contrary, the human self seeks help from God, who answers prayers but does not necessary extinguish all suffering.

Concrete Response
I recall that my friends had referred to me as a selfish person when I reached out to myself on my spiritual path.  However, my teachers had instructed me in individualism, which allowed me to respect their opinion whilst valuing my own feeling that I needed to be alone with God for an indefinite period of time.  I enjoyed reading the Scriptures and praying alone.  There are plenty of believers in the Bible who have had unique relationships with God, and so I did not believe it was selfish to spend time with Him alone.  Moreover, it taught me the meaning of a central tenet of Christianity To love ones neighbor as one loves him- or herself.  Perhaps I did not love myself enough before this time, or did not understand why it is necessary to respect oneself before others can be loved and respected.  I reflected on this through my period of loneliness.

I did regret, however, that I was not able to spend enough time with my grandmother as I was spending time by myself, trying to listen to God.  In fact, I avoided her until she died.  I met her on her death bed, of course, and had nurtured a regret ever since.  It is only now that I realize that perhaps she too had to be with God alone during her period of illness.

Reflection
Although it is true that modern society has little tolerance for God, as noise, high technology and physical needs consume much of our time, I do not appreciate the fact that Nouwen separates the believer from society from the beginning of his book, as if to say, The believers path is a lonely one.  While it is true that ignorance is bliss and the believer needs time alone to get rid of all falsehoods, that is, blissfully ignorant ways of thinking that modern-day society has conveniently fed into his or her mind, it is also a fact that human suffering caused by knowledge of reality is of little importance in the mind of God.  In other words, God has planned great things for believers in the afterlife.  And, in fact, God is with all human beings, which is why it is futile to focus on loneliness.  Most importantly, I believe that it is incorrect for Christians to dwell on human suffering, seeing that God gives happiness to even unbelievers in this lifetime, knowing that they would have no share of the eternal joys He has prepared for the prayerful.  Thus, I would like to ask Nouwen How can we, the believers, teach anything to unbelievers if we must discuss our loneliness and suffering  Shall we not, instead, focus on the joys of the afterlife

Action
I meet depressed people all of the time.  In fact, I know people who are so focused on suffering that they refuse to find satisfaction in daily living.  Having read Nouwens book, I would advise such individuals to show gratitude to God, return to the Scriptures, and start focusing on the afterlife instead.  According to the Scriptures, God keeps on giving unto those who already have enough.  But, what if we are not grateful for everything we already have, for example, our eyes, feet, hands, etc.  Not everybody in the world is gifted with eyes, feet and hands.  It is, therefore, essential to show gratitude for every blessing in our lives.  Furthermore, this is an excellent way to ward off human suffering.
   
Finally, I would advise those who reach out to me that it is blasphemous to be sad, giving that we all contain the spirit of God.  Additionally, there is plenty for everybody to be happy about and grateful for.  Of course, I cannot force the disobedient to return to Scriptures.  I can, however, remind the obedient ones that they would be grateful in the afterlife if they were not ungrateful to God in this lifetime.  Unlike Nouwen, I would offer them hope by shifting their focus from suffering to joyful gratitude.